A Letter to my Star Boy on his 5th Birthday

Sirius,

Five seems old. More grown up. Five is like a million little needles, piercing my heart and reminding me all at once that you are no longer a baby. Or even a little boy. No, you are squarely on the path to boyhood. Five, for your mother, is a bittersweet mix of pride and blessing, ache  and nostalgia.

Four was an epic year.

Full of wonder.

And stories.

Swim lessons.

And friends.

Your entered that stage where even your most beautiful smile has to somehow be silly.

That “big kid” attitude started to rear its head.

Though you remained, in so many ways, as serious and sensitive as your name suggests.

And – like at one and two and three – at four your brothers were your still favorite playmates.

And you continued to be a fantastic older brother.

You really are mama’s helper – baking cookies, clearing the table, cleaning up toys – you even helped me grade papers.

Watching you grow into your place among the fine men in our family is one of my life’s greatest privileges.

You got your first ever hair cut. You were thrilled, and I barely even cried.

I’m pretty sure the new ‘do made you feel ten feet tall.

You started Junior kindergarten at “the big school.”

You worked very hard.

I can’t believe how far you came with reading, writing, and math while you were only four.

You played your first two seasons of soccer, with daddy as your coach (go Purple Dragons!).

You are the light in your daddy’s eyes.

You shot your first real bow and arrow.

It’s safe to say your favorite thing was Mario, followed at a close second by Power Rangers.

And a close third was probably snuggling.

You “voted” in your first presidential election.

It was a pretty sweet year.

Sometimes I wonder if you realize how many friends you have, and how loved you are by so many people.

Especially your mama.

I have loved you since the moment I knew you existed. I have loved you since that first heart beat. I have loved you when days are hard and when they are easy, loved you as the sun sets and rises, loved you as infinitely as the universe. You are as your name suggests, the brightest light. In a night sky filled with stars I will always find you. Watching you grow is the great joy of my life and I cannot wait to see what five will bring.

Always and forever,

Your Mama